BUFFALO GURU

          Most of us are misunderstood - By ourselves, by others or both.

        To clear the confusion, we keep on bringing out dogmas and theories of proper behavior, ethics and morals.  Most of those who choose the dogmas thrive materially and also have a peaceful existence. They need not be bothered about the consequences of their actions because, it has been dictated by some dogma house and hence all responsibilities lie there.  The houses which hand out these dogmas or principles could be any religion or organization. It is structured for the needs of certain people.

        Those who step out of these structures or refuse to step into them, their roads are different.  They are alone responsible for their plights.

      There misunderstandings are bound to be more.  Because, they have chosen to be different and hence have dared the others.  For these fellows without fellow travelers, inner doubts are also bound to be more since they are not sure of the path to take.  What is to be done and not to be done, how, when, etc remain a perennial and eternal question in their minds.

        It was a sunny spring morning.  A Buffalo was grazing in a garbage pit near my house.  The one year old child in my arms, showed her hand towards the buffalo. As we neared it, it started running to another garbage pit, slightly away.  The child started giggling seeing the buffalo run.  To make her more happy, I also started running towards the buffalo.  Then the buffalo started running towards a third pit, which was at quite a distance.  I continued chasing it.  The child was very happy. Then all of a sudden, an unexpected thing happened.  The buffalo turned around fully and stood glaring at me with the head menacingly posed as if to charge.  My mind froze and a chill went down my spine. It was an open ground.  If the buffalo was to charge, we would have to run for our lives, and with the child in my arms, I did not know whether it would be a success.  Then without my own knowledge I smiled at the buffalo and said in my mother tongue, “No, No, it was only for fun”. (Later I realised that it was my being at work)  For a few seconds, the eyes of the buffalo held my gaze.  Then, with a nod, it gave a mild moo and turned off and walked away.  It did not run this time. Now, relieved, I looked at the face of the child in my arms, the one year old, her eyes had welled up with tears and she was visibly frightened and shaken.  The fear was writ all over her face.  This was the communication between three beings. No minds were involved.

        During the school days, when I came across the poets declaration, “He who wants to do good, knocks at the gate.  He who is good, finds the gate open”, to my mind, it appeared to be, contradictory and confusing.

        Later life shows the merit of that declaration.  It is not the action that constitute us, but what we are, determines the merit of our actions.

        At that point of ‘being’, then the misunderstandings vanish.  The veil of maya, is lifted. 

        For those of us who are ordinary but observant enough, glimpses like these happen. For those who are realized, it becomes a permanent state.

       

ON BEING FORTHRIGHT

        He was one of my favorite teachers. The Head Master used to come to our class once in a week and discuss common issues. Mostly they bordered upon literature and ethics. Since they were out of the book (and box) I eagerly awaited his classes.  Many of my class mates of course felt the ordeal a bore.

        Once he was describing his own life instance where he had been caught by his father for having taken food in an outside food stall because the food stall person had accosted his father with the coin he had given, saying that the coin was defective.  He had got a banging from his father, not for the wrong currency but for having breached a family norm, for in those days, in a brahminic family, taking food from outside stalls was prohibited.  He narrated the event and stated that it was one incident in his life which he could never forget. He then asked the students in the class to come out with instances which they felt were important in their lives.

        One girl stood up and said that she had been taken to Delhi to get the President’s award for Guides.  But due to some confusion there, it was not given there but they were all asked to go back to the schools and the certificates were sent by post.  She said she felt dejected. 

        The HM tried to soothe her feelings by saying that what mattered was not a photograph with the President or any dignitary because with modern technology any photos could be created, but what was important was the certificate itself.

        I do not know whether that girl was satisfied.

        But I felt that he was unnecessarily defending his establishment and I put a question to him:

        “Sir, if only the certificate is so important, why the photo copy of the certificate could not be hung in our library instead of the photo of our previous HM getting the award from the President?”.

        There was hushed silence in the class.

        After a few seconds, the HM told me, ‘You come to me after 7 or 8 years and tell me whether you have been as much forthright in life like this always”.

        Later in life, in the 33 years that have gone by after the incident, during moments of crisis where I had to debate within myself, whether to speak out what I felt as truth, or not, due to reasons that it was not always welcome, or more so when it appeared that it may not be understood, my HM’s words and face have come back to my mind.

        And every day I remember him with pranams.

THE SECRET ALLIANCE

Our organisation had achieved a memorable victory after a good struggle.

As per an example set out by five of the beneficiaries of the struggle, all other beneficiaries also made a monetary donation to the organisation which had spearheaded the struggle.

One of the beneficiaries, was a well known person and also very close to powers that be. He however had chosen not to follow the footsteps of others.  He did not volunteer any contribution to the organisation.

But one day, he came to my seat and took me aside and in a secretive manner handed over a box.  He said he wanted me to consume the sweets with my family.

Might be he was trying to show his personal gratitude.

But I only felt it as an insult - to an organisation by his neglecting its existence and choosing to show his affection only to one person, just because he headed the organisation.  Even the cost of the sweet would have been only a fraction of what others had given as contribution to the organisation.  That too was a point I felt was demeaning the organisation.  I also felt insulted that he chose to give me a separate treatment when I was only a part of the organisation and after all what did he think, that with this sort of exhibition, he was satisfying my personal ego?

Or was it that he did not want to identify with the organisation openly, but wanted to show his gratitude or affection secretively?  This again was a point of demeaning the organisation and those who stood by it.

The questions that arose in my mind that day have not got an answer till date. 

In a scene in the Tamil film 'Bharathi', the protagonist laments 'Patriotism has become a secret affair'. (தேசபக்தி கள்ளக்காதலா போயிடிச்சு ஓய் ).

The above event happened before the release of the above mentioned film.

Alienation or estrangement

This concept I hold as an essentially spiritual one.  

It explores and explains what happens when one is alienated or estranged - from labour, the proponent concentrated on, but in general also I like to expand its scope.

The pain would be understood from the plight of Shajahan - where his own offspring went against him.

That is the plight often in life.  It is our own effort which gets loaded against us by making our tormentors all the more powerful.

And yet we may not be able to stop contributing to our own subjugation and subordination. 

The answer to this was found in India by Gandhi.  It was non-cooperation.