Something did not seem right from the morning of 27th September 2021. There was no specific reason for a heaviness in the heart. The mind was not at rest. It rather was hazy. For no specific reason, nothing registered in the mind. Then I saw the mobile blinking. P A Parameswaran was calling. As soon as I attended, he said Muruganandam sir had been calling me and could not reach me. Then he informed that Sivajayakumar sir had been found dead in his house on Sunday morning. It was only to inform this that Muruganandam sir had been trying to contact me. My heart lost a beat. I again asked him, ‘found dead’? ‘Yes’., he said. I cut off the call and contacted Muruganandam sir for further information. Only then I found that my phone had been on silent mode and I had missed his earlier call. Muruganandam sir informed that Sivajayakumar sir had been found dead in a house at Trichy (till then I thought it was at vadavalli in Coimbatore) where he had shifted to, some six or seven months back (which was again news to both of us) and that his associates were trying to locate his family to get the formalities like post-mortem completed to perform his last rites. He was trying to contact his family at Pondicherry. I also then called some persons at Pondicherry and at last we could get in touch with his family, whom he had left around 20 years ago, walking away from his past, after he had come to Coimbatore.
Little did we know that in walking away from his past, after leaving the department, he had erased all our phone numbers also from his mobile phone and had not revealed anything about his past, including the department, etc, to his new-found disciples at Trichy. That was the reason why it took them one whole day to reach out to us, through whatsapp messages in certain groups. And when so many from the department had turned up, his new colleagues were astonished that their ‘Ayya’ had been such a big officer.
They would have been in a greater awe, if only they had been told that he was selected for the IPS, but had got entangled in some case at the time when he was to join the service and he himself argued his case in the High Court and came out himself, but lost the opportunity to enter Civil Services. But he had taken it all as God’s will.
The entire day I felt feverish. Only by evening, when I learnt that his son was proceeding to Trichy with his mother (Sivajayakumar sir’s wife) did I feel relieved. Then the feverishness also gradually came down. Till then I had thought that my physical condition was due to some climatic variation. But when Karthikeyan, whom I had requested to attend the cremation, on my behalf at Trichy due to my inability due to feverishness, reported to me that evening, that he could not attend, because of getting a fever himself that day, I felt something strange. It was not a mere co-incidence. The state of mind induced even before becoming aware of the news, the subsequent physical illness and the illness contacted by Karthikeyan who was asked to execute what I myself could not physically, all put together, I felt that there was some message.
He always used to speak in a mystical language, with a laugh typical of him.
I remembered about the book he had sent to me in the year 2000 from Pondicherry through Shri. Ananthakalyanakrishnan who had gone there for some pirpose.
At that time we did not know each other. When I took out that book from my shelf, I found, that strangely, he had even on that date, signed it as ‘To Manimohan, with regards’.
It was only later that he had come to Coimbatore on transfer and we came to know each other in person.
He had in a way stated his life philosophy in the preface of the above book:
He used to discuss a lot on spiritual matters. He had a great knowledge in Physics and Mathematics. Apart from that he used to speak a lot about Vasthu, Seven Chakras, etc, which all very well flew above my head. He even sent me a lengthy essay on his thesis on 'pie'. That was after he had left on Voluntary Retirement from the department.
Once when I was speaking about Vallalar, I said I had a book which spoke about the immense knowledge of Atomic Physics contained in the verses of Vallalar. That moment he wanted to come to my house. He came there and requested whether he could take that book. I was glad that there was someone who could understand the subject. Though I had bought it due to interest, I had not been able to grasp the subject.
He was the person who gave me a copy of ‘Living with the Himalayan Masters’, when I spoke to him about ‘Walking with a Himalayan Master’. After I completed the book given by him and when I returned it to him I said, it was simply great and I could not put it down. The other one is only ‘walking’, this one is ‘living’, he said with that typical laugh.
He opened many vistas into areas of mysticism which of course he would not accept without scrutiny. Scrutiny, he would do, using mathematical theories. He once was in search of Madhava of Kerala (Iringalakuda). It was much later that I came to know that Madhava was a great mathematician. I often wondered how he got so much information. Those were days when internet had not yet become so widespread.
One of the inspirational seeds, in his book is ‘The right to live is being interfered with by the liberty to put an end to life by the primitives obsessed with the absolute in the relative world. Beads of Abacus seeks to teach arithmetics of life’. His linking the spiritual path to mathematical basics is evident. All are symbols.
But in whichever subject he dealt with, he did it with great agility and expertise,in-depth. There was nothing he would do half-heartedly.
Once when I casually mentioned about my intention to get a second-hand car, he took it so seriously (even I had been only half serious) that he did not rest till a second-hand car had been identified and the keys handed over to me by him. The commitment with which he dealt with anything undertaken was amazing.
And he had a special affection for everyone he came into contact with. For those who did not quite understand him, he would pass by, with just a smile.
The concept of his compassion is revealed in another seed in his book: “We borrow billions to buy coffins for the living. With all the riches, the world is reluctant to cure the disease of starvation. Ironically, we also focus our lens at the outer solar system while humanity on our earth itself is an endangered species.”
Rajendiran sir (former Commissioner
of Cbe) along with his wife, Chandrashekar sir (Former AC, Cbe), Mohan sir (my previous AD) and many others who had
worked with him in the department, from different parts of Tamil Nadu were
gracious to attend his cremation at Trichy.
Shri. George Arokiaraj, along with his colleagues (their sangh), who had been
associated with Sivajayakumar sir till his end, who had searched for his family
and got in touch with us, were
gracious to do all that was required for his final rites. In fact they had informed us on Monday morning itself that they had been told by Sivajayakumar sir, where his final rites where to be conducted and they got it done accordingly, on the shores of the Cauvery.
After everything was done to his mortal remains, it dawned on me that he did not want me to go there. His message was that he was eternal. Physical limitations did not now apply.
His verses in the book sent to me by him speak out his mind.
Nails in my cross rusting
Bones in my coffin marrowless
Emptiness envelops me
Beyond the infinite
I exist original
In open spaces.
He will remain in the minds of very
many, whose lives he has touched with his graciousness, during his, 'this
journey', in search of the 'ONE' whom he refers to in his dedication of his book:
