A Saint among us

 

Something did not seem right from the morning of 27^th September 2021. There was no specific reason for a heaviness in the heart. The mind was not at rest.  It rather was hazy. For no specific reason, nothing registered in the mind.  Then I saw the mobile blinking. P A Parameswaran was calling.  As soon as I attended, he said Muruganandam sir had been calling me and could not reach me.  Then he informed that Sivajayakumar sir had been found dead in his house on Sunday morning.  It was only to inform this that Muruganandam sir had been trying to contact me.  My heart lost a beat.  I again asked him, ‘found dead’? ‘Yes’., he said.  I cut off the call and contacted Muruganandam sir for further information.  Only then I found that my phone had been on silent mode and I had missed his earlier call.  Muruganandam sir informed that Sivajayakumar sir had been found dead in a house at Trichy (till then I thought it was at vadavalli in Coimbatore) where he had shifted to, some six or seven months back (which was again news to both of us) and that his associates were trying to locate his family to get the formalities like post-mortem completed to perform his last rites. He was trying to contact his family at Pondicherry.  I also then called some persons at Pondicherry and at last we could get in touch with his family, whom he had left around 20 years ago, walking away from his past, after he had come to Coimbatore.

Little did we know that in walking away from his past, after leaving the department, he had erased all our phone numbers also from his mobile phone and had not revealed anything about his past, including the department, etc, to his new-found disciples at Trichy.  That was the reason why it took them one whole day to reach out to us, through whatsapp messages in certain groups.  And when so many from the department had turned up, his new colleagues were astonished that their ‘Ayya’ had been such a big officer.

They would have been in a greater awe, if only they had been told that he was selected for the IPS, but had got entangled in some case at the time when he was to join the service and he himself argued his case in the High Court and came out himself, but lost the opportunity to enter Civil Services. But he had taken it all as God’s will.

The entire day I felt feverish.  Only by evening, when I learnt that his son was proceeding to Trichy with his mother (Sivajayakumar sir’s wife) did I feel relieved.  Then the feverishness also gradually came down.  Till then I had thought that my physical condition was due to some climatic variation.  But when Karthikeyan, whom I had requested to attend the cremation, on my behalf at Trichy due to my inability due to feverishness, reported to me that evening, that he could not attend, because of getting a fever himself that day, I felt something strange.  It was not a mere co-incidence.  The state of mind induced even before becoming aware of the news, the subsequent physical illness and the illness contacted by Karthikeyan who was asked to execute what I myself could not physically, all put together, I felt that there was some message.

He always used to speak in a mystical language, with a laugh typical of him.

I remembered about the book he had sent to me in the year 2000 from Pondicherry through Shri. Ananthakalyanakrishnan who had gone there for some pirpose.  

 

At that time we did not know each other.  When I took out that book from my shelf, I found, that strangely, he had even on that date, signed it as ‘To Manimohan, with regards’.

It was only later that he had come to Coimbatore on transfer and we came to know each other in person.

He had in a way stated his life philosophy in the preface of the above book:

 

He used to discuss a lot on spiritual matters.  He had a great knowledge in Physics and Mathematics. Apart from that he used to speak a lot about Vasthu, Seven Chakras, etc, which all very well flew above my head.  He even sent me a lengthy essay on his thesis on 'pie'.  That was after he had left on Voluntary Retirement from the department.

Once when I was speaking about Vallalar, I said I had a book which spoke about the immense knowledge of Atomic Physics contained in the verses of Vallalar.  That moment he wanted to come to my house.  He came there and requested whether he could take that book.  I was glad that there was someone who could understand the subject.  Though I had bought it due to interest, I had not been able to grasp the subject.

He was the person who gave me a copy of ‘Living with the Himalayan Masters’, when I spoke to him about ‘Walking with a Himalayan Master’.  After I completed the book given by him and when I returned it to him I said, it was simply great and I could not put it down.  The other one is only ‘walking’, this one is ‘living’, he said with that typical laugh.

He opened many vistas into areas of mysticism which of course he would not accept without scrutiny.  Scrutiny, he would do, using mathematical theories.  He once was in search of Madhava of Kerala (Iringalakuda).   It was much later that I came to know that Madhava was a great mathematician.  I often wondered how he got so much information.  Those were days when internet had not yet become so widespread.

One of the inspirational seeds, in his book is ‘The right to live is being interfered with by the liberty to put an end to life by the primitives obsessed with the absolute in the relative world. Beads of Abacus seeks to teach arithmetics of life’.  His linking the spiritual path to mathematical basics is evident.  All are symbols.

But in whichever subject he dealt with, he did it with great agility and expertise,in-depth.  There was nothing he would do half-heartedly.

Once when I casually mentioned about my intention to get a second-hand car, he took it so seriously (even I had been only half serious) that he did not rest till a second-hand car had been identified and the keys handed over to me by him.  The commitment with which he dealt with anything undertaken was amazing.

And he had a special affection for everyone he came into contact with.  For those who did not quite understand him, he would pass by, with just a smile.

The concept of his compassion is revealed in another seed in his book: “We borrow billions to buy coffins for the living.  With all the riches, the world is reluctant to cure the disease of starvation. Ironically, we also focus our lens at the outer solar system while humanity on our earth itself is an endangered species.”

Rajendiran sir (former Commissioner of Cbe) along with his wife, Chandrashekar sir (Former AC, Cbe), Mohan sir (my previous AD) and many others who had worked with him in the department, from different parts of Tamil Nadu were gracious to attend his cremation at Trichy. 

Shri. George Arokiaraj, along with his colleagues (their sangh), who had been associated with Sivajayakumar sir till his end, who had searched for his family and got in touch with us, were gracious to do all that was required for his final rites. In fact they had informed us on Monday morning itself that they had been told by Sivajayakumar sir, where his final rites where to be conducted and they got it done accordingly, on the shores of the Cauvery.

After everything was done to his mortal remains, it dawned on me that he did not want me to go there.  His message was that he was eternal.  Physical limitations did not now apply.

His verses in the book sent to me by him speak out his mind.

Nails in my cross rusting

Bones in my coffin marrowless

Emptiness envelops me

Beyond the infinite

I exist original

In open spaces.

He will remain in the minds of very many, whose lives he has touched with his graciousness, during his, 'this journey', in search of the 'ONE' whom he refers to in his dedication of his book:

 

OUR SUDHIR SIR

 

          When we heard that our Sudhir sir was in the hospital and was on ventilator yesterday, we could not really believe it.  For us, he was symbol of fitness.  Not only physical fitness but also mental agility.

           He always reminded me of Kapil Dev, that symbol of fitness we all know so well.  And his bright enthusiastic and energetic laugh always was infectious. 

 He was a through sports person.  Not only on the sports field, but in all other walks of life as well.

There were many occasions where we had debates.  They were of high voltage not only due to the sheer speed of his deliveries, but also due to the volume of information he had at his command and the range of subjects he could cover. Yet, if I could win an argument, he very graciously would immediately concede the point, often with a smile of having played a good match – and never carried a grudge over that.  I would often feel that he was a sports person who enjoyed the sport as much as a spectator at the same time and relished every bit of the game.

 It was quite an experience to raise points with him for discussions or debates.  In the meetings I would sponsor even up to 20 points per session.  He would complete them in a jiffy. And after the session, without batting an eye lid, he would be off for the next meeting or even to another office where he would be holding additional charge, his pace and speed intact.

 During those discussions, I learnt a lot.  And at a torrential pace.  The other person who taught us from the other end was a googly bowler, while Sudhir sir was sheer pace, with all its varieties.

 It was he who agreed upon written transfer norms for the Commissionerate, something unheard of in this part of the state till then.  He was the person instrumental in building an entirely new block where the present Guest Houses and the Office of the Principal Commissioner are situated.  He encouraged all sports activities and recreational club activities.  He participated in them himself with great zeal.

 It was his efforts by taking up with Ramanan sir which helped Tamil nadu get 12 posts which were under alloted in the first phase of Upgradation, allotted in the second phase.

 He had the knack of getting things done by talking to the Under Secretary concerned, without bothering about hierarchy.  It is sheer magic, which very few other officers have been seen to follow.  

 It was a great honour for all of us in Coimbatore when he was awarded the Presidential award during his tenure here.  We hoped that he will become the Chairman, but we were not lucky.  (Incidentally the present Chairman reminds me a lot of Sudhir sir in many ways) The photos given above were taken during the felicitation we conducted to Unnikrishnan sir (our former AIF President on his promotion and to Sudhir sir on being awarded the President award)

 As an administrator he had the guts to stand by his staff.   There was an occasion when a Chairman visited Coimbatore.  KCS and myself met him in the Commissioner’s cabin. Sudhir sir was present.  It was just after the first phase of upgradation had been released and we were eager to know when the next phase will be issued.  We could extract a commitment from that hard nut that it will be done in some month, ‘’as is stuck’ – a comment which would become very famous throughout India as the Chairman’s assurance at Coimbatore.  During the meeting, which lasted for about 45 minutes, whenever we cornered the Chairman and he turned towards the Commissioner for help, in quite earnest Sudhir sir would say, ‘they are correct sir’ or ‘yes it is so’.

 His disposal of issues, whether of technical nature or administrative ones were quick and even handed.  He was one of the greatest administrators whom I have come across in my 35 years of experience.

 In a farewell party arranged by us on his transfer, from Coimbatore,  Ashraf sir had said that he was amazed how impartial Sudhir sir was in his decision making. Sudhir sir had passed an order in a particular case.  The lower authority of a division had also followed the same and passed a similar order.  Ashraf sir had thought that since the Commissioner himself had taken this stand, the order of the lower authority was to be accepted in Review.  But Sudhir sir directed that appeal be filed against that order.  ‘Since my order has not yet attained finality, till then that stand cannot the taken as the department’s stand’, was his reasoning.

 When further discussing on this thread Shri. K.C. Sivakumar had said in the said farewell that he was amazed at his intelligence.

During his reply speech, Sudhir sir made a very remarkable statement.  ‘I can never assume or accept that intelligence is the exclusive prerogative of any individual or cadre’, he said.  The statement has no value if said by any ordinary mortal.  But when it comes from an intellectual giant like him, it is a gem of a statement.

 While we looked at his conduct in office, it would be proved that he meant indeed every word he had said. 

 He was one among the very rare breed of Direct Recruit Civil Service Officers who did not discriminate between Direct Recruits and Promotees.  In fact, most of his free time, he spent with the promotees or officers belonging to the lower cadres. 

Once (of course it was the only occasion I had been to so far) I was roaming around in the Trichur round during the Trichur Pooram.  Suddenly I heard someone call, ‘Mani’. When I turned around, it was Sudhir sir with his typical beaming smile.  He was in the company of five or six persons, two of whom I knew were Superintendents in Kochi. He asked me why I was roaming around alone.  I said I was just having a feel of the festivities.  Suddenly he asked me why I had not shaved.  I was not rather very particular about having a shave every day.  So feeling my cheeks, I said sheepishly, ‘it is a holiday after all sir’.  He gave his full lunged laugh and tapped on my shoulders with his heavy hand and a remark, ‘MADIYAN’, which means ‘lazy fellow’.  He never used to speak in Malayalam while in Office. 

 At the same time, a particular Superintendent who was considered very close to him in office had once told me, ‘we will be drinking together late into the night, but when we come to office next day morning, he is a different man.  He will never spare us nor allow us to take any advantage in office work’.

Once I met him at Bangalore and was discussing about some political interventions that had started in postings and transfers in the department.  To that he said, ‘If at the very first instance when someone approaches we ask what about that?, it will not happen’.  When he said that, his face was so ferocious, that one could imagine any one going to him for a favour out of the way.

 Similar is our memory when he had a quiz competition conducted by an Inspector to the Direct Recruit IRS Officers.  To ensure that none of them wriggled out, he was himself seated in the last row in the conference hall where the event took place as a part of the Central Excise Day celebrations.  When the officers faltered and when one set of officers mocked at the others, he was roaring with laughter sitting in the last seat.  Not many of the officers were amused. Not many could show it too, when the LION was seated overseeing the entire event.

 There was another instance when he showed how humility was to be taught to the younger generation. 

 In a meeting of the Inspectors, it was reported that a particular new DR IRS Assistant Commissioner was ill-treating the Senior and aged Superintendents in the presence of young Inspectors and that the Inspectors felt bad.  They wanted a resolution to be passed against the Officer concerned.  I felt that it was not an issue on which an Inspectors Association could pass a resolution because it was not a case of the Inspectors being ill-treated.  So I promised to bring it to the notice of the Commissioner.  Accordingly I brought it to the notice of the then Additional Commissioner with a request that the matter be brought to the knowledge of Sudhir sir so that the young AC could be advised.  I left it there.

Two days after this, there was an ACs conference on a Friday.  On Monday, my friends were telling me that the Commissioner had taken every one for a cricket match in the Nehru Stadium on Saturday.  They were narrating an event that happened there, without of course realising the import.  Sudhir sir had suddenly during the end of the ACs conference turned to this new AC (against whom there was a complaint) and asked ‘what are your plans for the evening’.  He said, he had booked his tickets to leave that night.  “Cancel them and join us for a cricket match tomorrow,’ he was told.

 During the cricket match, this new AC who was a very hefty and slightly bulky person was made to slog out in the deep field positions and during lunch, hungry and famished, when he went ahead of others with his plate for the serving of the buffet, Sudhir sir had directed him to go and stand in the end of the queue.  'Remember you are the youngest member of the team and you shall take last’, he was told.  What a way to teach a youngster.  The others there did not know why, but on hearing it, I understood why, most probably.

 At the same time, there was another great administrative etiquette I learnt from him.

 Once, a Unit office bearer of our Association had sent a communication directly to him, instead of taking up the matter through me.  Sudhir sir called me in and asked why the particular gentleman was directly writing to him breaking the hierarchy of protocol, when we were dealing with each other.  I tried to be protective saying he is a young person, new to the department.  To that Sudhir sir said, ‘no Mani, when I deal with you, it is not based on your age that I deal.  It is based on the position you hold’.

 There was a great lesson.

 That was the reason that even if I argued with him, he never took it otherwise and rather often enjoyed it.  Once when I sought his permission to look into some file, he remarked in half jest, half turning to the ADC , ‘as if he is yet to see some files in this office’.

That he was rather enjoying these conversations or arguments became evident from a remark made by him when after his retirement he had come to Coimbatore.  Upon knowing that he was in the Guest House, I went to meet him.  Sir I am Manimohan, I said because it was slightly dark inside.  'Come on Mani, you require no introduction', he said in that full throated voice and energetic laugh. Then while we were discussing so many things, suddenly he asked me, who as the then Revenue Secretary.  Those days I had not been in active Association activities and hence I was not updated.  I said I was not aware.  Like a small child he rolled with laugh and said, ‘See I caught you there’.  I was lost for words.  Only then it dawned on me that all our earlier discussions he had been taking only with this spirit- as a sport.  But to even imagine that he found in me an equivalent player was rather beyond my imagination and I till date fail to comprehend how a person of his intellectual caliber could have so grossly over estimated me.

There was another episode when he showed how an administrator should act and with what swiftness.

Once, on the eve of a Pongal, one colleague called me from Erode and said that an FIR had been filed against him and some other colleagues who had raided a factory and seized goods.  The owner of the factory having some political connections had filed a false complaint against our people.  This had happened four or five days back but it appeared that the police were waiting for the long week end of pongal so that if arrested our people will not be able to move bail immediately. 

 When I went to the legal section of our office, I was told that there were only two alternatives.  One was to file a counter complaint for obstruction of public service or the other was to move the High Court for quashing of the FIR      .

 I immediately went and met Sudhir sir and apprised him of the situation.  He said, don’t worry I will ask the AC of the concerned division to take immediate action.  When I came out of his cabin, he was already speaking to the AC concerned.  The colleagues in the concerned division also informed me by that evening that the AC was coming there to sign a complaint which was being prepared and it will be filed immediately.

 Next day morning they informed me that the AC had spoken to the District Collector and accordingly under the assurance that nothing will be done on the FIR, he had addressed a letter to the Collector with a copy to the SP. I thought matter has ended.

After about 10 days, I came across the copy of the letter sent by the AC to the Collector.  From the narration I found it was hardly supportive of the staff and in fact it had not been properly put forth.  Further, I learnt that as long as the FIR remained alive, the police had the liberty to act on it anytime. 

So again I met Sudhir sir and apprised him of the issue.  His face reddened.  I have already instructed the AC, he said.  I said, I was aware of that and as per my information; his letter will not save our officers.  He was livid.  ‘The day after tomorrow there is an ACs conference, I will talk to him directly’, he said.  I said ok and came away.

The next day when I reached office so many people were asking for me.  Nair sir wanted you, one said.  Erode Division is calling over wireless, another said.  When I attended the wireless, the colleague at the other end asked me what I had told the Commissioner the previous day.  I told him what had happened.  He said Commissioner had called the AC over phone and fired him so much that the AC got up from his seat in fright and started sweating and shivering all over.  I said, it is perhaps because the AC did not carry out instructions from him.  No said my colleague.  Commissioner threatened to take him to High Court.  Later I found that Sudhir sir had asked him whether he was going to file FIR or whether he (Commissioner) should go to High Court.  The poor AC thought that the Commissioner was to take HIM to court.

 After I explained everything over the wireless and went to meet Nair sir, the AC Preventive, he was not in his seat.  While I was coming back, he came opposite to me and with a smile, putting a hand over my shoulder asked me, ‘Mani, what did you tell Commissioner yesterday”?  He was wiping his eyes with his handkerchief.  Tears continued to roll.  I felt I had made some great blunder. “He shouted at me at the top of his voice.  I have never seen him gasp for breath like this’. Nair sir said.  Such a seasoned person as Nair sir, saying this made me seriously think that I had done some grave mistake.  Then I explained everything to him.  ‘Might be Commissioner had asked me to speak to him since I also hold charge of Legal, perhaps he thought I have not properly advised him’. Nair sir said.

Anyhow, FIR was filed the very same day and eventually after some years, the assesses who filed the false complaint were awarded a six month RI.

 The reason why Sudhir sir got wild was not merely that his instruction had not been followed.  He had in fact wanted to talk directly in the conference.  Rather he would have come to see the letter of the AC which was poorly drafted and would not defend the officers properly.  He most probably got furious regarding what would happen if it was not handled properly and in time.

Apart from all this, his primary quality, which I had noted and also stated in the farewell meeting on his transfer from Coimbatore was his humanitarian approach. 

The first instance where I requested his intervention was an incident in which our colleague was badly wounded by dacoits at Hosur on an evening.  It was on the very next day of two after he had taken charge and we had formally met for the first time. Our colleague had reportedly been admitted to the St. John’s Hospital, Bangalore.  My friends from Hosur called me up and said that his condition could not be known.  I immediately went to Sudhir sir and apprised him of the situation and requested whether something could be done.  He said Commissioner Rao is there in Bangalore and his wife is a Doctor in the same hospital and that he will try.  This was around 4.30 pm.  As I was leaving office by around 6.00 pm, I got a call in the control room which I was passing by, saying that the Collector wanted me to meet him in the Guest House.  I felt strange that he wanted to meet me in the Guest House.  Still I went.  Before I could enter, I got a glimpse of him pacing the floor of the room in his dothi. When I knocked the door, he held the door open for me and showed a sofa to sit.  His courtesy was embarrassing.  I requested him to sit first.  He made me sit and then only sat down on another sofa.

        Then he informed me that he had spoken to Shri Rao and luckily his wife was on duty then at the hospital and she had herself visited the patient in the ICU and reported back that he was safe.  It was a great gesture.  Perhaps he could have told me the next day morning.  In hind sight, I feel that he would have seen me passing near that control room from his guest house window and would have immediately called them to inform me.

This great humanitarian gesture touched me and I said about this in my speech in his farewell meeting.  For this he replied that he had learnt the value of life the hard way.  He said he had lost his daughter when she was only in her teenage.  Then when his son had to undergo a heart surgery, the doctors had told him that they were to connect him to a machine and after the surgery the heart should take over. ‘In other words, they were telling me that they were going to stop the heart of my only son and it may or it may not take over’, he said with tears welling up in his eyes.  It was a poignant moment.  The pain between the ever smiling and confident person, was sitting so deep within his heart.

I had the occasion to meet him after he left Coimbatore some more times.  Also once when he was Member Customs.

The last time I met his was when we had been to Raghavan sir’s daughter’s reception at Kochi.  I saw the silhouette of a tall and well-built figure walking slowly before me. From the frame it appeared like Sudhir sir.  But there was a slight stoop and he was slow.  In spite of the well-built figure, he was never slow.  So I overtook him and turned towards him.  Immediately even in that dim light he shouted, ah, Mani.  Then next he said, ‘Oh Coimbatore connection’?  Then I introduced my other friends to him.  He became as young and enthusiastic as ever before. ‘ I will tell Raghavan that I have brought all from Coimbatore’, he said.  I told him, ‘sir I had a slight doubt because you were a bit slow in your gait’.  ‘Oh, I have become old Mani, my eye sight has become poor’, he said with a roaring laugh.

 Sudhir sir becoming old is something unimaginable.

 But as was his nature, even in death, he has been very fast.

 A part of our self appears to have faded away. Memories will remain in many hearts touched upon by the wide area of life covered by him.

 That energetic and charming smile will ever give us confidence.